[ Honestly... he's kind of at a loss for words. While he had enjoyed being around Hanyuu and the shrine, he had no idea he had that kind of impact there.
He's learning a lot more about his position in this world by the day. ]
...I'd like to try your favorite, then. If that's okay.
It absolutely is okay. I'll make my best chamomile tea, then.
[ She takes her geta off and takes careful steps towards the small kitchenette to grab her tea. He didn't ask for it, but she's also getting cookies. They are mostly for herself, but they can share! ]
I'm sure you're aware that, along with yourself, we were visited by a Rumor as we slept the other night. I had a chance to speak to her about the spirit realm in this world, and confirm how the other spirits around town feel about their lot in life. It makes me wonder, can we truly make their existence comfortable?
I believe that. Unfortunately, the spirits don't quite believe that.
[ Which was the problem. ]
The spirits themselves are frustrated at how they're unable to experience anything quite like we can. They can't leave their mark in this world, no matter how hard they try. After all, they have no bodies, most of the locals don't see them as much more than "useful"... they believe they have no identities, or names to speak of.
I used to think that way, too. To be honest... if I were them and they knew of my situation, I'm sure they'd be jealous of me. Because I'm not supposed to have a physical body, either. I was supposed to be too weak for that.
Having an identity isn't always a good thing.
As a kami, I...
[...]
Many people saw Oyashiro-sama as a frightening kami. One that would curse people the moment someone did something wrong, or even dared to think of leaving the village. It got so bad that they created ritual tools to sacrifice and torture people in my name. And to the point where nobody really recalled the kind of person I was.
[ Rinne sighs, staring at the snacks. Of course, it was like that... ]
The grass is always greener on the other side, that's the expression, right? From what she told me, there's a belief that if a spirit gains enough faith, they could potentially become a kami themselves. It's how they handle that "want" that bothers me.
...Something that the "rumor" wanted hasn't stopped bothering me since I heard it.
--When I spoke to the rumor and she mentioned that spirits don't have names, but they still want. I had to ask, what name she would have preferred if we could have saved her.
She mentioned that, she wanted to be "Ariel". That would be the name of the spirit that others had seen before, if I remember right.
Long ago... I committed a grievous sin. When my descendant--when Rika died for the first time. I took her soul and brought it to another Fragment. Another world.
And I used that soul to replace all of the other Furude Rikas in many Fragments, over and over again, desperate to find a world where she could live.
...meaning, that same soul was placed into multiple "Rikas" across multiple worlds?
[ Oddly, he thinks about his own life flame. What would have actually happened had it remained repossessed and sent elsewhere. How terrifying that would actually be. ]
[ Really... he feels conflicted about it, closing his eyes in thought. ]
I... I'm truly not sure how to feel about changing fate like that. I get that an outcome like that's too tragic for someone so young and full of energy, but... a hundred years...
....Yes. If I'm to be honest, sometimes I do think about it--how perhaps I should not have done what I did. It was a sin, after all. But Rika was... the only companion I had in ages. The first person that I could see after spending hundreds and hundreds of years alone, unseen and unheard by anyone else.
[ That statement, it's what truly gets Rinne's gears moving. That loneliness, and the feeling of being seen that pulls the others together. ]
Talking to you was a good idea.
It's not my place to tell you what is and isn't a sin-- you're the Kami of Sin, in the end. However, if Rika forgives you for that, then it may be as close to absolution as you can get.
For what it's worth, this doesn't change my perception. I still see you as my friend, and someone important to me as well. I won't allow you to feel lonely anymore, and I'll work towards ensuring there aren't spirits that have to carry that burden themselves.
"I won't allow you to feel lonely anymore," she can't help but chew on her lower lip. She's already told people, but if he's saying that, should she also tell him...? How does she put "I'm eventually going to go back to being alone in the realm of the kami" delicately...? ]
If there is anything that I can do to help the spirits as well, then I'd like to.
I can hope that the faith of a kami would help them a lot.
[ Although, if it were that easy... this wouldn't be that big of a problem. ]
...Even if we could raise awareness that the spirits are there, that they're more than tools, that would help. The Wishing Boards were a good idea in concept, but some of the wishes are beyond our capabilities.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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He's learning a lot more about his position in this world by the day. ]
...I'd like to try your favorite, then. If that's okay.
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[ She takes her geta off and takes careful steps towards the small kitchenette to grab her tea. He didn't ask for it, but she's also getting cookies. They are mostly for herself, but they can share! ]
Feel free to start whenever you wish.
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[ Well... there's the obvious place to start. ]
I'm sure you're aware that, along with yourself, we were visited by a Rumor as we slept the other night. I had a chance to speak to her about the spirit realm in this world, and confirm how the other spirits around town feel about their lot in life. It makes me wonder, can we truly make their existence comfortable?
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[ She won't ask for the details. Not yet, anyway. ]
I think we can. There's no such thing as impossible.
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[ Which was the problem. ]
The spirits themselves are frustrated at how they're unable to experience anything quite like we can. They can't leave their mark in this world, no matter how hard they try. After all, they have no bodies, most of the locals don't see them as much more than "useful"... they believe they have no identities, or names to speak of.
cw: human sacrifice
Having an identity isn't always a good thing.
As a kami, I...
[...]
Many people saw Oyashiro-sama as a frightening kami. One that would curse people the moment someone did something wrong, or even dared to think of leaving the village. It got so bad that they created ritual tools to sacrifice and torture people in my name. And to the point where nobody really recalled the kind of person I was.
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The grass is always greener on the other side, that's the expression, right? From what she told me, there's a belief that if a spirit gains enough faith, they could potentially become a kami themselves. It's how they handle that "want" that bothers me.
...Something that the "rumor" wanted hasn't stopped bothering me since I heard it.
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But what is bothering you, exactly?
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She mentioned that, she wanted to be "Ariel". That would be the name of the spirit that others had seen before, if I remember right.
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For a moment she's just...absolutely quiet. ]
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Is she really beyond saving?
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...Would you want to talk about it?
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What I am about to say mustn't leave this house.
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And I used that soul to replace all of the other Furude Rikas in many Fragments, over and over again, desperate to find a world where she could live.
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...meaning, that same soul was placed into multiple "Rikas" across multiple worlds?
[ Oddly, he thinks about his own life flame. What would have actually happened had it remained repossessed and sent elsewhere. How terrifying that would actually be. ]
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[ Really... he feels conflicted about it, closing his eyes in thought. ]
I... I'm truly not sure how to feel about changing fate like that. I get that an outcome like that's too tragic for someone so young and full of energy, but... a hundred years...
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Talking to you was a good idea.
It's not my place to tell you what is and isn't a sin-- you're the Kami of Sin, in the end. However, if Rika forgives you for that, then it may be as close to absolution as you can get.
For what it's worth, this doesn't change my perception. I still see you as my friend, and someone important to me as well. I won't allow you to feel lonely anymore, and I'll work towards ensuring there aren't spirits that have to carry that burden themselves.
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[ But as for the second half of this.
"I won't allow you to feel lonely anymore," she can't help but chew on her lower lip. She's already told people, but if he's saying that, should she also tell him...? How does she put "I'm eventually going to go back to being alone in the realm of the kami" delicately...? ]
If there is anything that I can do to help the spirits as well, then I'd like to.
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[ Although, if it were that easy... this wouldn't be that big of a problem. ]
...Even if we could raise awareness that the spirits are there, that they're more than tools, that would help. The Wishing Boards were a good idea in concept, but some of the wishes are beyond our capabilities.
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[ Not to mention that she's a spirit herself in a way so she can talk to them. ]